Comments on: Welcome to the wonderful world of dating!

By: Throwing in the towel at Kindly Póg Mo Thóin

Throwing in the towel at Kindly Póg Mo Thóin — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 19:29:22 +0000

[…] think I’m done with OK Cupid. Things haven’t really gotten much better since I first signed on, and I just got favorited by yet ANOTHER “gosh, that “available” status […]

By: Thomas

Thomas — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 15:11:56 +0000

Glaikit! A good Scots word — among my favorite Scots adjectives, next to crabbit (adj. foul-tempered or cantankerous).

Good luck with the online guy-search. There’s a high frog-to-prince ratio, I know.

By: Meowser

Meowser — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 20:18:18 +0000

Oh, and another thing I’d advise: If you meet someone you think you like even a little bit, ask for a coffee date as soon as you think you feel comfortable with him, if he doesn’t ask first. But the key is, make sure you DO feel comfortable with him first. Exchanging a few E’s first before meeting and making sure he doesn’t put up any immediate douche-markers is not unreasonable at all.

By: annejumps

annejumps — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:32:47 +0000

I’ve done okay with OKCupid, though not spectacularly. I get a lot of decent matches, I’ve met a few folks. My most negative experience was just recently a guy who sort of had a ribbing sense of humor who pointed out how noticeable my eyebrows were. I don’t know if he was trying to do a pickup “insult you so you feel defensive and try to prove yourself” thing or what.

I’ve put right out in my profile that I’m feminist, pro-choice, and that I write slash. I don’t want to waste time with people who can’t handle it.

Meowser is right, be sure to answer a lot of questions and fill out a lot of tests. And don’t feel obligated to reply at all if you just don’t want to.

By: Deborah

Deborah — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 04:22:46 +0000

I did not have a great experience with OK Cupid but YMMV. There are a lot of spammers, or at least have been in the past (the men with the funny English who just happen to be “working” in Africa). I only met one man in person - he apparently had some type of high-functioning Autism - and there was one man who seemed interesting but then he tried to have phone sex on our first phone conversation.

Oh did I mention I gave up on online dating?

By: Mnemosyne

Mnemosyne — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 17:10:06 +0000

I agree with Malcolm — be picky. Given how many people are on those things, and the ratio of men to women (usually about twice as many men as women), you can afford to be. I was pretty unmerciful and still ended up with a bunch of coffee dates, two real dates, and a husband.

It’s the one time you can treat dating like online shopping if you want. Don’t make a full judgement based on e-mail, but don’t feel too bad about ignoring idiots.

Phone calls are good once you’ve exchanged a couple of good e-mails. Too much e-mailing can be counterproductive.

I’m really lucky I was doing the internet dating thing from a site with no pictures, because I am anti-photogenic. Seriously, the only good pictures of me were with an expensive professional photographer and a professional makeup job.

By: Jenonymous

Jenonymous — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 03:53:34 +0000

Hey there. I know IOU a call, hon, but year end shit at work has been bonkers. Having said that…

Yeah, this is why I don’t use dating sites anymore. Really.

You want a real laugh, go to JDate, but that’s another whole story. I have never seen a site so infested by 40-and-50-something divorcees who think that some 20-something is going to drop their lives and go play Nice Jewish Mommy to their 3 kids from their last marriage. Meh.

By: bbrugger

bbrugger — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 00:48:01 +0000

The call me guy was a glaik. I’d have been tempted to fire back ‘U R NOT TEH BOSS OF ME’ and then block his IM/emails.

The other guy at least saved you the trouble of wasting any more time on him by being an asshole right away.

We joke here that one reason we will never get divorced is that the dating scene is a sucking black pit. After 20+ years together if either of us has any bad habits left they are ones the other kind of likes.

By: Melissa McEwan

Melissa McEwan — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 22:01:31 +0000

What about the “Call me” guy, though? Too harsh?

If that had happened halfway into an otherwise good conversation, I might have said something like “Is that a demand or a request?” to see how he responded. But two exchanges in? No chance.

By: Meowser

Meowser — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 18:23:51 +0000

Nah, he spelled “gorgeous” wrong, he’s not for you.

Seriously, though, if you want to take the time to educate these guys on why they’re being rude, go for it. But you owe them nothing. I doubt you’d have gotten anything more from him than a quick lay, anyway, because it sounds like that’s all he was interested in.