Comments on: Well, that was weird.

By: Kat

Kat — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 02:32:23 +0000

You should just bag law and open a wine-and-knit boutique somewhere

By: Zuzu

Zuzu — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 15:18:28 +0000

I was actually really lucky in that I got a terrific mentor in my first year, at a small firm, who took the time to teach me how to practice, and was very careful to constructively criticize me. I also had a senior partner who yelled, but only when I had actually fucked up (and calmed right down once I acknowledged the error and asked him how I could fix it).

That experience has helped immeasurably in my ability to not take personally or as a reflection on my abilities a lot of what the screamers have thrown at me over the years.

I also spent two years with the NYC Law Department, where they took the time to train and supervise attorneys, even the temps like me. Again, that experience has given me strength and inner reserves to withstand the raving and mark it down as someone else’s problem. Of course, I also realize that my performance *does* slip when I’ve gotten so dog-tired of being screamed at that I just don’t care anymore.

And, unfortunately, I don’t react well to the screaming. I still have PTSD from working at the Evil Empire, and that was 7 years ago.

By: Bruce

Bruce — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 13:37:59 +0000

This profession is sick - beyond sick - if this is its primary method of mentorship. Do engineers treat engineers this way? Veterinarians?

By: sam

sam — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 18:49:16 +0000

Oh, and you’re doing better than I was, mainly because you recognize that D is completely and utterly wrong. I actually believed BFTF had a point, and became clinically depressed over the whole thing. Good luck to you, and I hope you find a great boss next time.

man, I can relate to that. I’m still at a large corporate behemoth law firm (and these days I love my job), but when I started, I was in the labor and employment department at another firm, and I worked for an absolute bully. It took me a really long time to figure out that his goal wasn’t to “make me a better lawyer” but rather to just, well, be a bully because he could. Endless screaming fits about typos (in DRAFTS, that hadn’t gone ANYWHERE outside the office), and how I wasn’t worth the money they were paying me, and I finally realized why no associate stayed in the group for more than a year.

I was actually able to switch groups at the same firm, and discovered what true mentoring relationships are. People giving you guidance. Answering questions, and giving CONSTRUCTIVE criticism when you don’t get it right. Sure, everyone has their bad days where they’ll possibly bite your head off (I’ve had my fair share as well), but they’re few and far between. I came days away from quitting my job (with my dad offering to pay my bills for six months because he could see how bad it was).

By: Karen

Karen — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 02:27:27 +0000

What is it about the law that attracts such monumental assholes? My first boss, God curse her shrivelled and blighted soul, tried to fire me because there were typos in my memos to her. Now, I typed my own stuff, on short deadlines, and she prohibited me from using anyone to read my stuff after I typed it. Naturally the more she screamed the more mistakes I made. Finally I quit without another job and lived off my parents for nine months. The parents were, by the way, perfectly happy with that arrangement since Boss From 20,000 Fathoms had once famously remarked when I wore a dress my Mom had sent me in the mail, “I’m very proud of the fact that I never took a dime or a present from my parents since my 18th birthday.” She said this in the open, in front of the entire division. Mom sent me a pair of shoes, a purse, and a certificate for a manicure when I told her about the incident.

Oh, and you’re doing better than I was, mainly because you recognize that D is completely and utterly wrong. I actually believed BFTF had a point, and became clinically depressed over the whole thing. Good luck to you, and I hope you find a great boss next time.

By: Bruce

Bruce — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 06:29:23 +0000

Zuzu, I could have written what you just wrote, though not as well. Yes, the screamers, the belittlers, the condescending nasty stabbers, arrogant princes filled with a sense of entitlement and the right to treat employees like garbage. I have worked for a number of them over the last 13 years. Most of us get the opportunity to work for a few of them because they do have turnover.

Have gotten pretty good at hooking friends up with work, opportunities and contacts down here - better for them than for myself, usually. Wish I knew some people up there but I got no New York mojo.

By: norbizness

norbizness — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 21:02:59 +0000

So it was Professor Plum in the conservatory with the pipe?

I was on toxic tort back in my paralegal days; I think they’re done with the manufacturers, and moved on to every company that ever used it in constructing their (then) new buildings.

By: Jen

Jen — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 18:43:27 +0000

Zuzu,

Me three on the mooning.

By: Mighty Ponygirl

Mighty Ponygirl — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 18:17:09 +0000

One of my first jobs right out of college was as a Temp-to-Hire at a lawfirm doing database work and general helpdesk. I would take a job at a Taco Bell scrubbing out Burrito-Grande-Accident toilets than take another job at a law firm after that experience.

To this day I will not forget the HR person they hired to police the office. And by police I mean “make the proles miserable.” She would time your bathroom breaks. She would stalk around and make sure that you weren’t trying to form friendships with your social betters (she actually told one secretary that she was not to take up her associate’s offer of lunch because a friendship between the two would be inappropriate). Nasty memos about coming in ontime sent to everyone rather than calling the tardy offenders in to speak directly. In one breathtaking event, she actually ordered all the secretaries to show her their feet so that she could make sure that the little plebes weren’t wearing open-toed shoes in violation of the office dresscode.

Truly, it was a magical place to work.

…And I totally vote for the mooning.

By: Mnemosyne

Mnemosyne — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 17:31:53 +0000

Ah, flashbacks. If you just switched the field to advertising, I could have written the exact same story, with the exact same dynamic of the “nice” person making excuses for the asshole. I even heard the, “But he’s under a lot of pressure …”

And don’t you love how the “nice” partner immediately takes the side of the asshole and starts having a talk with you about your problem and how you really need to step up and work harder, and only backs down when you point out the myriad ways in which the asshole has actually created the problem that he’s blaming you for?

I was way too happy when I heard that karma finally caught up with my asshole ex-boss about six months after I left and he got fired. And I am much, much happier in my current temp job at only about $1.50 less an hour.