I’ve grumbled here about my job before. To give you a fuller picture of what’s going on, I work at a tiny firm, three partners (T, D and J) and two associates (A and Z) (including me). They mostly bring in contract attorneys as associates, and hire them on after some unspecified time if they work out.
They often don’t work out. The last new contractor who came on board lasted a day. That’s right, one day.
A’s actually been there for 3 years, but she’s put in her notice and is looking for work. She’s had it. So have I. Plus, I know when she goes, I’ll be even more in the line of fire.
The problem is D. D’s what we in the law game call a screamer. They’re everywhere in the practice of law, and their screaming is not helped by the structure of private firms, which run on a partnership model (law firms can’t incorporate). What that means for the unfortunate associate is that because you are an income generator, and because any income you generate in excess of what it costs to pay your salary goes into the partner’s pocket, partners have an incentive to work you like a dog and treat you like shit. Many of them at least avoid the “treat you like shit” part of the equation. Then there are the screamers.
Another problem with the partnership model is that partners are also income generators, so they don’t like to spend a whole lot of time on learning how to actually be good managers (on the plus side, the emphasis on billing pretty much eliminates the kinds of useless departmental meetings that seem rampant in academia).
Now, in larger firms (or at least firms up to a certain size), there are people hired to do the managing, and even if there’s one screamer in a department, you often have the chance to work with another person. Why do screamers get to stick around? Simple: they generate clients. It’s often the ones who are most unpleasant who have the biggest book of business.
So, D’s the screamer at my firm. T is perfectly pleasant, but ineffectual at dealing with D. They’re both the named partners, and if one’s going to run roughshod over you and the other just doesn’t want to deal… J’s great to work with, but he mostly does his own work and rarely has any work for associates to do.
Thus, you work either for D or for T. I’ve been pretty lucky, in that I’ve worked mostly with T. A? Not so lucky. And D’s getting really, really bad with her. What I think finally made things break for her was when her mother had to go into a nursing home in another state and D started complaining about how much time she was spending on the phone with her. And then he started attacking her on her voice and her personal appearance. Like, viciously.
Since I found out A was leaving, I stopped thinking that maybe I could tough it out if they hired me permanently and gave me benefits and more money. T asked me months ago to work only 35 hours a week, max, and that’s put a big dent in my ability to pay my bills. I thought that if they paid me what the agency was getting, I’d be fine.
But after what D started doing to A? There’s not enough money in the world. Because once she goes, I’m next.
I started putting my resume out there. I’ll do asbestos work if it comes to that, you know? Anything to not have to work with him, and at least they pay well because they can’t find people with the right skills and no conflicts. Nothing yet, but it’s a weird time of year, with the month of Jewish holidays and the new first-years starting. I kept things quiet, though.
And I’ve been swallowing the problems I’ve had with D. I’ve been trying to work around them. When he’s condescending to me (which is in just about every interaction), I keep my mouth shut. When he says he just wants a couple of cases and an oral report, I give him a memo, because he wants memo-level detail. When he refuses to give me the kind of detail I need to do the job, and then berates me for not researching the issues he refused to tell me about, I say clearly that I was not asked to research that, but if he will give me the time and necessary facts, I will be happy to do it. I haven’t gone to T with any of this, because what is he going to do?
Well, today it all sort of leaked out. As I mentioned above, T’s asked me to limit myself to 35 hours a week. Since he likes to pop into my office at 6 or 630 in the evening, I’ve adjusted my starting time to 1030 (trending toward 11 many days). In any event, nobody’s given me a time to start, and since a) I get paid only for the hours I work and don’t get paid when I’m not there; and b) nobody’s said a damn thing to me in seven months, I figured I was fine.
Today, when I got in, D called me into his office. I’d already been having some issues with him over some research I did for him (he tends to flip out when you either ask for more detail or to see the documents, or when you bring up issues that your research turns up that he doesn’t want to hear about. God forbid I cover all the bases, and all the ways our client could get screwed — certainly, I’ll be blamed for NOT bringing it to his attention should he file papers based on my research that don’t mention this issue). I figured he wanted to either have me do something different or move up the time he wanted the brief I was writing done (that’s another favorite tactic).
No, he wanted to yell at me for not getting in at a time he never asked me to arrive at in the first place. And threaten me with termination. And suggest that the firm had “carried” me when things were slow and I got paid anyway because they wanted me available.
Which, well, what the fuck ever. The “carrying” thing is bullshit, because they bill out my time at a multiple of four times what it actually costs to employ me (including agency fees), so unless we’re talking weeks at a time, I’m making them a profit. It’s a common theme with threatening partners, though (I suppose they think lawyers can’t do math).
But of course I didn’t say that. And I found out from the paralegals and office manager that he’d already reamed out that he was on the warpath that morning.
What set me off, though, was when T came in my office to say that I should be getting in at 930. And I kind of lost it with him. Told him that I was confused, because T had told me that he wanted me to work no more than 35 hours a week, and since he liked to come into my office to discuss stuff in the early evening, I adjusted my hours accordingly. Besides, if they’d wanted me to come in at 930, they could have mentioned it once in 7 months instead of saying nothing and then screaming at and threatening me.
T backed off almost immediately, since he’s all about the smoothing ruffled feathers, and admitted that he didn’t really care, and he’d, yes, put me in the position of choosing to come in late and leave late. But then he started making excuses for D, saying he was under stress because he had a couple of matters that were very active. And I just laughed bitterly, and started unloading. Didn’t know how much longer I could take being talked to like that, it was unprofessional the way D yelled at A right out in the hall where everyone could hear, he was arbitrary and condescending, he didn’t credit me with knowing anything even though I’ve been practicing law for 10 years. There were tears, even, just from releasing frustration.
And then T did something completely unexpected: he very calmly suggested that I call up the agency and see if I could get a new assignment; he’d give me a good reference, and maybe I should tell off D on my way out the door.
How…odd.
I declined the offer to tell off D, since I know it won’t do anything except piss him off enough to take it out on the paralegals, who don’t need that kind of shit. I did tell T that he has a problem on his hands, and that my leaving might be the best thing for me, but it wasn’t going to solve his turnover problem.
And after T left me (with a lot of admonitions to calm down), I saw him heading over to D’s office. Later, when D came to see me about another matter (and once again, completely failed to give me credit for having the capability to do the simplest tasks), he was almost contrite. Almost.
I won’t tell him off when I leave.
But maybe I’ll moon him.
What’s wrong with asbestos work? Honest question.
The main problem is that the manufacturers sent a dangerous (but damn useful) product out into the world without warning people of the danger — and they knew how dangerous the product was, but didn’t warn people for decades.
I suppose, at this point, there’s no question of establishing liability anymore, so there’s no real issue with liability… but there’s the whole black-hole aspect of it, which is no fun at all.
This all sounds very familiar. I’m kind of a perpetual temp, and I’ve done a lot of work in law offices. Even in the best of circumstances, temps aren’t on the bottom rung of the corporate ladder; they’re the little rubber things that go on the legs of the ladder. Lawyers are really aware of the hierarchy, and want to make sure you are, too. Lately I’ve been doing a lot of legal proofreading, and although I’m still working in law firms, one of the things that I like best about the jobs is that I’m not actually coming into contact with lawyers.
No offense to yourself, of course.
P.S. I support the mooning idea.
I fully support both the mooning and the telling off. Yes, he probably will give the paralegals a load of shit, but he’s going to do that anyway - he’d just be using you as an excuse. He needs to be told - and by someone other than his partner - that he is the reason that people are running out the door, and that his way of treating others is unprofessional at best.
Ah, flashbacks. If you just switched the field to advertising, I could have written the exact same story, with the exact same dynamic of the “nice” person making excuses for the asshole. I even heard the, “But he’s under a lot of pressure …”
And don’t you love how the “nice” partner immediately takes the side of the asshole and starts having a talk with you about your problem and how you really need to step up and work harder, and only backs down when you point out the myriad ways in which the asshole has actually created the problem that he’s blaming you for?
I was way too happy when I heard that karma finally caught up with my asshole ex-boss about six months after I left and he got fired. And I am much, much happier in my current temp job at only about $1.50 less an hour.
One of my first jobs right out of college was as a Temp-to-Hire at a lawfirm doing database work and general helpdesk. I would take a job at a Taco Bell scrubbing out Burrito-Grande-Accident toilets than take another job at a law firm after that experience.
To this day I will not forget the HR person they hired to police the office. And by police I mean “make the proles miserable.” She would time your bathroom breaks. She would stalk around and make sure that you weren’t trying to form friendships with your social betters (she actually told one secretary that she was not to take up her associate’s offer of lunch because a friendship between the two would be inappropriate). Nasty memos about coming in ontime sent to everyone rather than calling the tardy offenders in to speak directly. In one breathtaking event, she actually ordered all the secretaries to show her their feet so that she could make sure that the little plebes weren’t wearing open-toed shoes in violation of the office dresscode.
Truly, it was a magical place to work.
…And I totally vote for the mooning.
Zuzu,
Me three on the mooning.
So it was Professor Plum in the conservatory with the pipe?
I was on toxic tort back in my paralegal days; I think they’re done with the manufacturers, and moved on to every company that ever used it in constructing their (then) new buildings.
Zuzu, I could have written what you just wrote, though not as well. Yes, the screamers, the belittlers, the condescending nasty stabbers, arrogant princes filled with a sense of entitlement and the right to treat employees like garbage. I have worked for a number of them over the last 13 years. Most of us get the opportunity to work for a few of them because they do have turnover.
Have gotten pretty good at hooking friends up with work, opportunities and contacts down here - better for them than for myself, usually. Wish I knew some people up there but I got no New York mojo.
What is it about the law that attracts such monumental assholes? My first boss, God curse her shrivelled and blighted soul, tried to fire me because there were typos in my memos to her. Now, I typed my own stuff, on short deadlines, and she prohibited me from using anyone to read my stuff after I typed it. Naturally the more she screamed the more mistakes I made. Finally I quit without another job and lived off my parents for nine months. The parents were, by the way, perfectly happy with that arrangement since Boss From 20,000 Fathoms had once famously remarked when I wore a dress my Mom had sent me in the mail, “I’m very proud of the fact that I never took a dime or a present from my parents since my 18th birthday.” She said this in the open, in front of the entire division. Mom sent me a pair of shoes, a purse, and a certificate for a manicure when I told her about the incident.
Oh, and you’re doing better than I was, mainly because you recognize that D is completely and utterly wrong. I actually believed BFTF had a point, and became clinically depressed over the whole thing. Good luck to you, and I hope you find a great boss next time.
man, I can relate to that. I’m still at a large corporate behemoth law firm (and these days I love my job), but when I started, I was in the labor and employment department at another firm, and I worked for an absolute bully. It took me a really long time to figure out that his goal wasn’t to “make me a better lawyer” but rather to just, well, be a bully because he could. Endless screaming fits about typos (in DRAFTS, that hadn’t gone ANYWHERE outside the office), and how I wasn’t worth the money they were paying me, and I finally realized why no associate stayed in the group for more than a year.
I was actually able to switch groups at the same firm, and discovered what true mentoring relationships are. People giving you guidance. Answering questions, and giving CONSTRUCTIVE criticism when you don’t get it right. Sure, everyone has their bad days where they’ll possibly bite your head off (I’ve had my fair share as well), but they’re few and far between. I came days away from quitting my job (with my dad offering to pay my bills for six months because he could see how bad it was).
This profession is sick - beyond sick - if this is its primary method of mentorship. Do engineers treat engineers this way? Veterinarians?
I was actually really lucky in that I got a terrific mentor in my first year, at a small firm, who took the time to teach me how to practice, and was very careful to constructively criticize me. I also had a senior partner who yelled, but only when I had actually fucked up (and calmed right down once I acknowledged the error and asked him how I could fix it).
That experience has helped immeasurably in my ability to not take personally or as a reflection on my abilities a lot of what the screamers have thrown at me over the years.
I also spent two years with the NYC Law Department, where they took the time to train and supervise attorneys, even the temps like me. Again, that experience has given me strength and inner reserves to withstand the raving and mark it down as someone else’s problem. Of course, I also realize that my performance *does* slip when I’ve gotten so dog-tired of being screamed at that I just don’t care anymore.
And, unfortunately, I don’t react well to the screaming. I still have PTSD from working at the Evil Empire, and that was 7 years ago.
You should just bag law and open a wine-and-knit boutique somewhere